Happy Alice
by guineavampire
Summary: Just a completely random set of one-shots between Alice and Edward. Pre Twilight. T because of stuff that isn't innocent
1. Sunny Day

Happy Alice and Annoyed Edward

It was a bright, happy, sunny day and Alice wanted to celebrate by skipping around in circles outside singing bright happy songs. So she did.

Edward was also outside being mopey. He did not like hearing Alice's songs, inside her head or in the real world.

"Shut up Alice" He said

"No" Alice said, "I like doing this (insert maniacal laugh here)"

"Fine, be that way" Edward said and stormed off.

And Alice was that way.

The End

_A/N I am in a sugar high and was on the phone talking to a friend. This idea came to me so I decided to write it down. Sorry people for making you suffer like this. I won't even ask you to review, I honestly don't care._


	2. Notes

**Notes**

_Alice_

**Edward**

**I am already sick of this room. It so hot! And so much blood! Sigh. And so boring**

_Then read. I love 216 because it_ is _so warm- so nice_

**You would… I, on the other hand, much prefer the cold. And we can't even talk… I suppose I could read, but if Mr M catches me I'm dead.**

_Edward, you are dead and how the hell is he going to catch you? Stop worrying. Note passing is against the rules but who cares?_

**I do. The fans are annoying, blowing around the scent. Mr M is chewing the end of his pen. Oh, he's stopped now. **

_Lol, if we did that the pen would dissolve._

**Your thoughts are hilarious. Since when is your deity the devil and your religion blood? Argg so much maths! Numbers are dancing in my mind!**

_Sigh, just block them out. You can be such an idiot. Did you notice Mr M pulls the funniest faces when he concentrates. You must be so bored, with no mate. People think we are weird. I wonder what Mr M would think if he read this._

**I no not need a mate! Of course people think we're weird! We're vampires! Shit teacher.**

And the note disappeared leaving an annoyed Edward and happy Alice.

**A/N Me and my friend were passing notes and I made them into this.**


	3. Humans

Humans

It was a hot day and Alice was curious. "Edward why do humans not like the heat?"

"Because they can feel it."

"Why?"

"Because they're human."

"Why?"

"Because they haven't been bitten."

'Why"

At that Edward backhanded Alice across the lawn.

"Why, Edward why?"

**A/N Another random addition to Happy Alice.**


	4. Shopping

Shopping

"Edward, lets go shopping", said Alice

"No"

"Why?"

"Because we will spend six hours there and you will use me as a bag holder and you'll spend excessive amounts of money and because I want to mope."

"But how is that a bad thing?"

"Your impossible."

"Anyway why would I shop for six hours when I can shop for eight?"

**A/N Another addition to Happy Alice. Short and sweet. So many people are reading but hardly any are reviewing and I need ideas for the next chapter. If you have time please send me ideas by reviewing or pm me. Wow my author's note is nearly as long as my story. Until next time please R&R.**


	5. 99 Bottles of Blood

**Bottles of Blood**

_99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again. 99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again. 99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again. 99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again. 99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again._

"Alice stop that!" Edward cried

_99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again._ "No"

_99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again._ _99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again._

**Four hours later:**

_99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again. 99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again. 99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again. 99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again. 99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again. 99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again._

Edward was curled up in a ball in his room and Alice was still singing _99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again._

"Argg I can't take it any more" and Edward ran out. Alice followed singing _99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again. 99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again. 99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again. 99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again._

When Edward and Alice came back she started singing out loud "99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again. 99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again. 99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again. 99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again. 99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again. 99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again."

By then the whole family had started chasing Alice trying to make her stop singing 99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again. But no one succeeded.

"99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again. 99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again. 99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again. 99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again. 99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again. 99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again. 99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again. 99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again. 99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again. 99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again. 99 bottles of blood on the wall, 99 bottles of blood. Take one down, pass it around, recycle it and it ends up on the wall again."

**A/N This is a fairly cheap chapter but I did make up the song to annoy my friends. Please keep sending in ideas as I will end up writing most of them when I can be bothered****. If you review I write faster but I will never hold back chapters.**


	6. Jasper

**Jasper**

Alice was thinking about Jasper, about his magical mouth, his smooth muscled chest about all the times they had been together.

"Argg Alice stop!" Edward screamed

But Alice continued with her fantasies till the lust was too much to bear and he picked up Alice and ran up to their bedrooms. Because of the amounts of lust Jasper was throwing out all the couples were doing likewise and filling Edward with thoughts of their other half.

Edward had had enough and ran out screaming through the back door. The couples took no notice and continued.

A/N

**Hi, I'm looking for people to co-write some stories that I have ideas for. Also I deleted "The One he made" and will be publishing a new Twilight fanfic set in Australia. Please visit my profile if you are interested. As always please read and review.**


	7. Bunnies of Doom

**The Bunnies of Doom**

**Alice POV**

_Bunnies, bunnies, hop hop, bunnies, bunnies of DOOM and again Bunnies, bunnies, hop hop, bunnies, bunnies of DOOM, Bunnies, bunnies, hop hop, bunnies, bunnies of DOOM, Bunnies, bunnies, hop hop, bunnies, bunnies of DOOM, Bunnies, bunnies, hop hop, bunnies, bunnies of DOOM._

"Stop that Alice," Edward cried

Esme took one look at them and said, "It's the bunnies of doom again isn't it?"

Both Alice and Edward nodded and Alice continued to think _Bunnies, bunnies, hop hop, bunnies, bunnies of DOOM, Bunnies, bunnies, hop hop, bunnies, bunnies of DOOM, Bunnies, bunnies, hop hop, bunnies, bunnies of DOOM, Bunnies, bunnies, hop hop, bunnies, bunnies of DOOM, Bunnies, bunnies, hop hop, bunnies, bunnies of DOOM, Bunnies, bunnies, hop hop, bunnies, bunnies of DOOM, Bunnies, bunnies, hop hop, bunnies, bunnies of DOOM, Bunnies, bunnies, hop hop, bunnies, bunnies of DOOM, Bunnies, bunnies, hop hop, bunnies, bunnies of DOOM, Bunnies, bunnies, hop hop, bunnies, bunnies of DOOM, Bunnies, bunnies, hop hop, bunnies, bunnies of DOOM, Bunnies, bunnies, hop hop, bunnies, bunnies of DOOM, Bunnies, bunnies, hop hop, bunnies, bunnies of DOOM, Bunnies, bunnies, hop hop, bunnies, bunnies of DOOM, Bunnies, bunnies, hop hop, bunnies, bunnies of DOOM, Bunnies, bunnies, hop hop, bunnies, bunnies of DOOM, Bunnies, bunnies, hop hop, bunnies, bunnies of DOOM, Bunnies, bunnies, hop hop, bunnies, bunnies of DOOM, Bunnies, bunnies, hop hop, bunnies, bunnies of DOOM, Bunnies, bunnies, hop hop, bunnies, bunnies of DOOM, Bunnies, bunnies, hop hop, bunnies, bunnies of DOOM, Bunnies, bunnies, hop hop, bunnies, bunnies of DOOM, Bunnies, bunnies, hop hop, bunnies, bunnies of DOOM, _

After all that Edward was curled up in a ball muttering about how the bunnies were out to get him.

He stayed like that for a few days as Alice continued to hop around him thinking her bunny chant- _Bunnies, bunnies, hop hop, bunnies, bunnies of DOOM._

After a while Edwards self preservation instincts kicked in and he ran as fast as he possibly could away from Alice


End file.
